Just get on with it

Today I have come to the realization that the worst thing one can possibly do to oneself is postponing chores until the last possible moment, also popularly called procrastinating. Then as you keep procrastinating there will be a problem, as I have myself experienced how I push my own limits when it comes to the absolute minimum value of required sleep. I have recently been down to ca 2 hours per night, which is intolerable in the long run! I've also experienced some outer influences, something which has made me reconsider my previous attitude towards myself. There's been a tendency for me to put too great pressure on myself, never being properly pleased with anything less than 120 %.

Not really the most healthy attitude...

Failure of the day

Today I managed the impossible; messing up a pretty straight forward day.

I somehow managed to oversleep and woke up at 7.30, so that I almost missed my drivers lesson. In addition I had booked a double lesson, and not a single on which I previously believed I had. Therefore I missed the first class of today, a class which was extremely important as we were registering for our exams. Luckily I managed to apologize to and suck up to my teacher, to the extent that she gave me the required forms. So I shall be taking my IB exams on May 2013 and not 2014.

PRAISE DA LAWRD!

Hopefully I will not be able to mess up anything else up, though my powers ought not to be underestimated! I am an IB student, I have the ability to mess up pretty much anything.

Breaks...

So that was one hell of a long break. Guess the concept I had adopted for my blog didn't really fit with my needs at the time. Therefore I believe I'll rather make this a personal blog about my daily life, ups and downs. Maybe a tad bit of reflecting though, mostly cause that's sorta how I am.

Starting out fresh! Awh yeah! Hopefully I'll be able to keep it up, and not fail to the extent of which I did last time. Hehehe. Failure is not an option!

... Or something like that... Yea... Oh well.

Let it be...

Ever felt like the task you are writing on is stuck somehow, like you have no clue how to continue on writing. Whenever this happens, I find that its important to leave the task be for a few days, let it mature so to speak. This gives you room to think and reconsider what you have ridden, a sense of space between it and you. Thus it will give you a new set of eyes to look at the text, and you may find that several changes need be done before it is completely finished.

Sleep...

... Something I should probably be doing at this current moment. Most people know the effect of sleep deprivation. The effect is so great that it is in fact a very effective torture method, as the lack of sleep causes your concentration to drop in addition to causing a great physical pain throughout your whole body. This is what I'm in truth doing to my body by staying up late;

I'm torturing myself.

Judgmental

We all do it. We all hate it, but we still do it. Judging other humans based on the first impressions. It is necessary for us to socially survive though, as the first impression we form of a person most likely shows whether or not you have anything whatsoever in common and thus saves you time.

But remember to give second chances, as people are profound creatures!

I'm fine

Those two distinctive words are so loaded in meaning. Whenever I use them, they mean the complete opposite. I am most likely tired, a sort of empty tiredness. Like if there is no energy left in my body whatsoever.When this occurs one has two choices, keep on going or do something to reload your energy.

Personally, I am feeling like doing the latter at the current moment.

Commando

Wearing clothes seems to me to be nothing but the fabric (so to speak) of culture. That may very well be why it feels so wonderful to let everything just hang free, its like one truly can breathe again. That is only the case though when one does not have the watchful eye of the "neighbor" hoovering over you. The fabric of culture is extremely important though, mind you!

Some professors even claim that without it we would still be dwelling in caves.

Early bird

This is my solemn promise that I, Toni, is going to try my very best to get up as early as possible the next few days. I have come to the conclusion that it's important to grasp the day! Do whatever you want! Don't sleep during what could possibly be the best time of your life!

Just wake up early, go outside and make the best out of your day!

Bellydancing... oh joy!

A friend of mine has sent a mail to the principal of my current school and asked if we can be a part of the entertainment for the first day of school. Bellydancing. All of this happened without my consent, and he of course accepted. I am now forced to dress in minimal clothing on front of all the seniors, and then dance one of the most sexual dances routines of all time. I feel like a suicide bomber...

... In the sense that I am about to commit social suicide

Doodlidoo

You do not have to be Pablo Picasso in order to doodle or sketch something. It's a nice exercise for your head, and personally I find it relieving to focus on something completely pointless. Letting a burst of creativity out of your body can do wonders, and if you take a look on the doodle a few days later, you might realize that it "ain't so bad".

You might even come to like it, who knows?

Disconnected

One of my greatest experiences this weekend was just that. The feeling of being out of reach, completely disconnected from the world. Somehow that made sense. It felt like I could truly connect to my surroundings, without being disturbed or distracted by technology. I was fully able to appreciate the wonderful nature of which I am lucky enough to live in, and I felt inner peace.

But I must admit I've missed it too!

Order and peace

A strange thing I have noticed is how there is a correlation between the physical state of your room, and your mental state. Living in a messy or dirty room seems, at least to me, to be a sort of constant beeping noise that annoys you so incredibly much. You get used to it after a while though, and eventually the chaos of your room moves into your head. And you can't understand why. It all get's better when you clean it though. Promise!
I experienced a revelation whilst cleaning my room...

... Aaawwwhhh YEAH!!

Newton!

It has come to my attention just exactly how amazing and baffling the existence of gravity is. Just imagine trying to explain to a 4 year old why people don't fall off the edge of Earth, even though its round. Or how the Earth can spin at 1,000 miles per hour without any of us noticing a thing. It's truly amazing, and we would not be able to cope in our daily life without it.

Not for one second!

God's Gift

Hot chocolate must truly be God's (if he does exist, mind you) gift to the human race. It seems to me that it is also one of those things that are better shared with friends. Today I had a taste of something which can only be described as heaven on earth! The Chocolate Maid didn't spare on the chocolate, to put it that way, and the cream on top was a nice and heavy vanilla cream.

Oh my gosh, I think I'm in love!

Shake your Body!

Exercise must truly be one of the most curious things ever invented. Personally, I dread the thought of exercising. It also feels like hell when you're in the middle of it all. But when its all done, and your pulse is back to a somewhat normal rate, you actually feel great! Ran 5 km today and I can hardly walk up the stairs, but who cares?!

I am still proud of myself!

Weird

I have come to the conclusion that I am indeed very weird, and unusual. In a good way? Not sure. But what sort of normal person would read a theory of knowledge related book during the summer break. Heh, that's the way I roll, I guess. ToK book used "Nerd/Geek". It is supereffective! Toni looses 5 life points.

Alonsy!

Choices

Sometimes the things you at first find uninteresting and stupid, turn out to be the best memories of your life. Don't let chances pass, "Grasp the day" as some wise person surely said once. Cause if you don't go for it, you'll always wonder about what you missed.

Empty

It's strange. I don't know what's worst, hurting constantly or not feeling anything. Empty is a sad word, it suggests that something used to be there, but it is no longer. So maybe it's better to actually hurt, cause its bound to get better.

...Right?

Kids nowadays...

Even though I do sound old I must say that I am completely freaked out over the state of the kids nowadays, not the general masses of course... They are all just scared and follow the trends mindlessly. I am scared of the few people, everybody has met them at some point, who are completely hopeless. Hopeless in the sense that they do not want help.

How are you supposed to help someone who doesn't want to be helped?

The trap of compliments

Usually one is very grateful when one receives compliments, but I have pretty recently learned how there's two sides to this matter. On the positive side you will of course experience a great boost of confidence, which on its own is fantastic and absolutely worth striving for. On the other hand you will, if given enough compliments and frequently enough, become rather "addicted" to these small words of encouragement. This is when it gets dangerous.

How far are you willing to go in order to continue receiving these compliments?

Oh Sweet Relief

What a fantastic feeling when things sort themselves out, and certain events of which were dreaded turns out to be rather okay. People are generally not behaving as one might fear in the worst nightmares, and are usually as vulnerable and uncertain as you are. Weeell, generally speaking,

Some people are just born on top of the world.

Tired of being happy

I am completely and utterly exhausted by my efforts of being joyous and happy constantly, now its time to tear down the facade. The best place to do this would probably not be a 2 year old's birthday, but what can one do really?

Just gotta take the plunge and face the consequences.

It's not Me

Sometimes you have to take a great step back, and take a thorough look at what you have become. Is this how you want others to perceive you? Is this how you want to be? Changing ones appearance to try and fit in is a great short time solution, but on the long hold your better of showing your true colors.

I shouldn't be your only reason for going...

It's not really worth it. It's not really worth it. Right? I mean, yes I do love Coldplay. And France. But the price is a bit steep. And He doesn't think that He should be my only reason for going. So I'm not going. Reeeejected! Me, that is.

I am too emotionally invested, and its clouding my judgement.

Coldplay, s'il vous plaît!

So, I am possibly going to see Coldplay live this september! How epic isnt that?! I'm really excited, though there's some details that has to be rechecked before I can book hotel/plane ticket/concert ticket. The most exciting part of it all?

Most possibly going there with my crush!

Showerlicious

Its odd how a long and warm shower can just completely change your mood, its like you get some space and time to think.

Talk to the Hand

My heart jumped of joy as my crush answered my message. It completely stopped to beat when he only replied to tell me how he couldn't talk at the moment. This made me unbelievably sad, which is rather pathetic.

Isn't it?

I am a Nerd

... So it's pretty clear what this post is about. I. Am. A. Nerd. Or geek. Whatever you prefer to name it. Either way, I like school. And I'm good at it. For some or another reason this has oh too often been looked upon as a horrible Thing.

But is it really?